It all started around the first of the new year. I was on Facebook and saw an invitation to lose 10 pounds in 10 days. All I had to do was follow a specific diet plan for 10 days.

That didn’t sound so hard.

And then I realized what I had gotten myself into.

And it turns out following that specific plan wasn’t as easy as I thought. I enjoy food. I enjoy shopping. And most of all, I enjoy shopping for food. So when I knew exactly what I was going to get at the grocery store, shopping was no longer interesting.

And when I knew that I wasn’t going to be hungry, eating was no longer an adventure. So I had all kinds of time and I was really bored most of the time.

I didn’t know what to do with my boredom.

Had my life always been this boring?

And that’s when I realized that I was disappointed with myself because I had allowed myself to get to such a point where I wasn’t really living anymore.

Tony Robbins always says live with passion. Without food to give my life the spice, I wasn’t doing anything that I was passionate about besides my marriage. And even though I was passionate about my marriage, I was working so much that I wasn’t spending time with my loved ones.

I had to make a change.

I started to put myself first. I started to decide what I wanted and what would make me happy just because I wanted to do it not because it would make anyone else happy.

I’m starting to dream about things that I can accomplish. I’m starting to dream about a place where I can spend time with my family whenever I want to. Now, my life has excitement just because I have plans.

And I want to take you on the adventure.

So that’s why I’m writing. I’m writing to inspire you to live life to the fullest. I am writing to give you a vision of your own life in a way that would bless you and others.

And most of all I’m writing to you to lift your heart to give you hope and to let you know that there is something better and you can reach it.

The question is…

Will you do what it takes to make it happen?
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Let’s look at the question to make sure we are talking about the same thing.

In terms of work, there will always be more to do. In my mind, getting ahead means being able to meet deadlines and still balance both roles for work and home.

In personal things, getting ahead may mean being financially able to have more fun or save more. Still, even at home (just like at work), there are going to be things that both need done repeatedly and are boring to do.

So, let’s say “get ahead” means that (1) we have a balance of work, play, and rest and (2) we have made progress in some way since “yesterday.”

So to measure our “getting ahead,” we will set a goal for the desired outcome.

For example, getting in the routine to leave work at a normal time would be one measurement of getting ahead.

How do we accomplish this?

I would recommend setting boundaries. One person can only be expected to do a certain number of things each day. If I accepted more responsibilities than I could accomplish then it’s my responsibility to acknowledge that those are not realistic expectations.

In summary, the way I “get ahead” is (1) by Casetting realistic expectations of what it means to get ahead and to protect those expectations so that I’m not overwhelmed are pertinent to the point that I cannot accomplish my goals.

This takes honesty and good visibility of the workload.

(If so, you may have also heard ways to force the horse to drink. We’re not going to take that class today.)

So, how do you lead someone to their desired outcome?

Somewhere along the line I learned that a good coach will create emotional leverage to motivate and inspire someone else to take action.

“What is emotional leverage?”

The term emotional leverage refers to our reasons for doing (or not doing) something.

There are two ultimate keys to controlling behavior as Tony Robbins explains it. Either people will be motivated by “the carrot or the stick.”

What’s The Carrot and The Stick?

In the end, the only reason we do something is either to gain pleasure or prevent pain. Most people will do anything to prevent pain.

Essentially, taking action to prevent pain is the same as taking action out of fear. When someone has the ability to take action moving them towards their dreams, that’s taking action out of help or love.

I’ve become a parent. And that has been the biggest growing experience I’ve ever had.

The hardest thing that I’ve learned is that I need to allow my children to experience life on their own.

I know I can’t do it for them which makes it so much harder to watch them fall. And if they don’t fall, they don’t pick themselves up and learn from it.

In many ways, I know by allowing them to fall and they will learn. And if they don’t learn here and now with me around in a safe environment, they will learn somewhere else and it may be much more painful.

So, it turns out, the moral of the story is loving someone means allowing them to grow even if it includes pain.

My life has changed in many ways since then.

For example, since I committed to build a business for my family and posterity, I’ve given birth, changed jobs three times between four companies, lost 60 pounds, and got a haircut. (Well, okay… More than one haircut… I can honestly say there has been at least one haircut. I just don’t know how many.)

So what does that have to do with starting over?

Well… As I mentioned, I had job changes. Both sources of income I had at the time had stopped.

Can you understand my fear of providing for a family without cash flowing in?

Needless to say, I panicked.

I immediately made efforts to regain our cash flow and successfully partially replaced it. Then, the difficult task began of adjusting our lifestyle to the new cash flow level.

That didn’t sit well with me.

So I’m inspired to start building the business now. Not out of desperation but out of inspiration.

I started reading a book. I didn’t even get a dozen pages into the book before tears were all over my cheeks.

(I was moved by the experience shared in the book.)

So, I’m back to being committed.

But, I need your help! To build a business, the first step is to have someone who will purchase my goods or services.

Would it be okay with you if I shared with you something I think you may like?

If so… Stay tuned! I’ll let you in once I’ve finished “setting up shop.”

Let me explain..

I went ice skating. While I was there, I was talking to someone who really knew how to skate and was helping me stay on my feet.

While we talked about skating, we also talked about beliefs and ideas.

What I think was interesting about the experience was that before we started talking, I thought to myself big picture, goal planning type-questions (like “What do I want out of life?”) that were literally what we discussed just minutes later.

If you believe in coincidence, then so be it. (I can respect that.) To me, it was a perfect example of how our needs are taken care of by “a higher power.” (I’ll use the general term “God” to refer to the higher power. Please feel free to substitute whatever name you’d like to use.)

With this example, I’m trying to show how each interaction with other people can fulfill a purpose. For example, what I wanted was help to skate better. In addition to getting that help, I received more help in other aspects of my life too. (Turns out the person I was speaking to is a success coach who goes around making a difference everyday.)

Each day we are alive, we can choose to live with purpose. But, it is a choice.

Are you just going through the motions? Or are you making a difference with the time you have?

If you think you are beaten, you are
If you think you dare not, you don’t,
If you like to win, but you think you can’t
It is almost certain you won’t.

If you think you’ll lose, you’re lost
For out of the world we find,
Success begins with a fellow’s will
It’s all in the state of mind.

If you think you are outclassed, you are
You’ve got to think high to rise,
You’ve got to be sure of yourself before
You can ever win a prize.

Life’s battles don’t always go
To the stronger or faster man,
But soon or late the man who wins
Is the man WHO THINKS HE CAN!

Over the last year and a half (or so), I’ve gotten over 40 pounds lighter through changing my eating habits. (Can you believe it? Who knew that eating right and exercise actually works?)

When I was talking to a relative about it recently, I was called “lucky” because I was able to accomplish this dramatic change. (Please note it was not overnight and it was not easy.)

Had I not set out to do something, I would not have been able to accomplish anything.

If you have dreams that you’ve never done anything about, write them down. It’ll be one small, easy step that can get the ball rolling.

The hardest step to take is the first one. It gets easier after that.

Well, unfortunately, yes! The same idea can be very large! The difference is what you do with it.

For example, as I’ve mentioned in other places, I’m building this to serve a purpose. It’s going to be big because my dreams of what I’m building are big.

But, what if I had the idea and didn’t take any action on it? What happens then?

That’s when it would be a small thing… In fact, that’s probably when someone would brush it off because it was too simple.

But, it’s only the first step of the staircase. Giving someone too much all at once is a sure fire way to defeat their spirit and excitement. It takes away hope.

But, if I could just make a phone call… That’s easy. I can make a phone call.

Okay, got that. Next.

Does that make sense? Do you understand what I’m saying?

In summary, the difference between me today and the “me” of six years ago is the beliefs (my ideas, hopes and expectations) that I have that led me to new (aka different) actions. Different actions have led to different outcomes.

Life changing moments are just “small ideas” that are nourished and given action.

I’m so excited to go ice skating. It feels like it has been a while since I’ve done something “fun.”

While I was thinking about ice skating, I was reminded about balance.

In my opinion, the only way to be successful in all areas of my life is by having balance.

Although I want to be the best I can be in all my roles, I don’t want to be “the best” in one area by sacrificing the other (more important) roles in my life.

Each day, all of us choose how to spend our only limited resource… Time.

Whether we make the conscious choice or not, we spend our time as we choose…each minute of each hour of each day.

What do you do with yours?

While at work the other day, I was talking to my coworker about some problems that needed solved. We both knew she was capable of solving the issues we were discussing because of her prior experience solving exactly these sorts of problems.

During our discussion, she said, “They don’t pay me for that.”

This had multiple meanings for me.

She was using it to explain that the issues to be addressed were not within her area of responsibility or her circle of influence.

When I reflect back on her comment, I’m reminded of the first Go-Giver “law,” the law of value.

If my true worth is defined by how much more I give in value than I take in payment, wouldn’t it mean that I’d want to give what “they don’t pay me for” in order to increase my worth?

As I hear her words echo in my mind now, I can see her belief system is clearly not in harmony with The Go Giver principles.

And that’s okay. It lets me know where her awareness is at this time.

It just seems odd to me how transparent people’s beliefs are when I listen with the intent to understand where they are coming from.

The nice thing is that I’ve learned how to collaborate with others in a way that uses this ability (or should I say superpower – the ability to see inside someone’s head? Does that make me sound like a mad scientist or what?) to design solutions while taking into account what they believe is important.